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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

It's okay to cry

Well yesterday was an emotional day for me, Mike and I went through some personal issues and I found myself creating an arguement to get some attention. Now you may find this kind of crazy but it really isn't. If you have ever been in a relationship you know there are things that are considered touchy subjects, well that's where we were. His reaction to this subject just does not bring about a desired result and because of that we do not talk about it even though I have feelings also. I don't want to bring it up because then it makes for a long day, however I have been just thinking about it for months and now on the day we are suppose to do something about it I can't take it anymore and I start off with a well I need you emotionally today and he is like what are you implying. To make a long story short I am implying because he is hanging out later after I am in bed that he is not being sensitive to the situation we are going through right at that moment. What I really needed was to cry and I mean one of those cries that all you want to do afterward is go to sleep because you have a headache and your eyes are so tired. I am sharing this because I think of myself as strong but there are times that I just want to be held and cry in my husband''s arms no matter what he may be thinking or how it makes him feel. I realize that you have to say some things that may be uncomfortable for each other to hear but it is worth it. I can not be growing up in the things of Yahweh and shrinking back from the things right in my face because I do not want to make things bad if we are having a good day. When we took those vows it said for better or for worse and if your having a for worse day just express yourself with honey on your tongue. I am giving myself permisson to ask to be weak on certain days, share my heart and then cry. I started the arguement, I got to the root of the problem, explained myself, and then proceeded to cry for about a good 15 min . My husband just took me and cradled me in his arms and rubbed my back and kissed my cheeks and didn't say a word. I want to cry again just thinking about it. It was such a break through for me and we proceeded to take care of our personal matter for the day and there was a barrier forever broken. I am not a wimp just a woman who needs to cry sometimes with the support of her husband and that's OKAY!!!!!